Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride?

Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.

You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is up to.

He would throw a drowning man both ends of the rope just to see the look on his face.

You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and dodging the issue.

We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.

Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

A rose by any other name still has thorns.

Cigarette, A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.